One Tiny Person

I keep a private journal that I write in every night.  It’s my way of letting the day’s ups and downs go so that I can rest easy… well, easy-ish.  I have always been a person whose brain just cannot shut off and if I do not commit to nighttime rituals it is impossible for me to fall asleep.  I have a feeling Greyson may end up being the same way if his current anti-sleep campaign is any indication.  Much of my nightly writings have revolved around the tiny boy that keeping me up at night.

Having a child has been the most profound experience of my life.  As soon as I held him in my arms, I became a different person.  Instantly, I had an intense understanding about what is truly important in life.  After the first week of baby blues went away I found myself smiling more and letting go of things that pre-baby drove me crazy.  He has softened me.  He’s made my world brighter.  Sure, it sounds trite but it also true.

One week old. He was sooo tiny! Look at those scrawny legs!

In his (almost) 5 months in this world he has changed so much in my life.  And I don’t mean the little things like being sleep-deprived, the complete inability to do anything more than 30-45 minutes at a time, or becoming a master diaper changer.  No, he’s done much more than that.

Showing off those mad Gonzalez keyboard skillz. =P

His birth created a family.  Ramses and I have always been partners and best friends but now we are a real family.  He made me a Mommy and he made Ramses a Daddy.  He’s become a bridge for several relationships that we felt had, maybe, run their course.  He’s taught me to get out of my head and open my heart.  He well never really understand the profound effect he’s had on our lives until maybe he has children of his own.  But that’s OK, his only job right now is to be a kid for as long as he can.

Conversations with a 4 Month Old

I have never been a “baby person.”  I had some experience with babies before my little one came along since I have been an Auntie since I was 8 years old but I never went goo goo gaga over babies.  Once Greyson arrived I totally got it.  I understand why people become “baby people.”  It took my own child to awaken that fondness in my heart.  Now, I love babies!  I love seeing baby pictures and being around babies.  Now, I am talking about babies not little, ill-mannered kids.  Well-behaved kids?   Sure.  But the kids that their parents let run wild I can do without. =P

There is something about babies that is truly magically.  They see the world with completely fresh eyes and everything is new and wonderful to them.  Greyson is starting to understand the rhythm of conversation and allows us to speak to him, waits for a pause, and fills that pause with his own babbles and raspberries.  If you have never had a conversation with I 4 month old, I highly suggest you do.  You will never feel more interesting.  Another thing he does and has done since birth is “give eyebrows.”  I remember when I gave him his first bottle in the hospital his little eyebrows raised in surprise.  Now when he’s babbling sweetly to me he’ll raise one eyebrow for emphasis.  He is such a little flirt, girls are going to be powerless against him!

I plan on taking these photos every month to chart his growth.

This age is so much fun.  He is starting to really take interest in the world around  him.  His personality is starting to shine.  He is reaching for everything and whatever he gets his hands on goes right in his month.  He doesn’t quite understand that not everything gives him milk.  This can cause him quite a bit of frustration at times.

Ah nom, nom, nom.

I think another reason he puts everything in his mouth is because he’s starting to teethe.  He started drooling at 3 months and hasn’t stopped yet!  He’s had a few rough nights but no teeth poking through yet.  It is still early but my mom has told me that all her kids were all early teethers.  Also, solids will be coming up soon!  I’ve been reading my baby cookbooks and am all stocked up and ready to start making my own baby food and freezing it.  Yay!  I am getting excited to start this next step.  I’ve read that solids can start between 4 and 6 months old.  I am going to discuss the possibility of starting now with his doctor this Wednesday.

He loves his jumperoo!

My next purchase is going to be a book on baby sleep.  He’s been a fantastic sleeper until recently.  He turned 4 months old and decided sleep is just not for him.  He fights me so much at bedtime and is waking up a lot during the night.  I read a little on something called “4 month sleep regression.”  Any moms out there have experience with this?  Time to really hit the books again because Momma needs her shut-eye!

Funny Faces

Things have been pretty hectic in my world these days.  Work have been a maelstrom.  So much so I, embarrassingly, was brought to tears on the phone with a jerk client last week.  I had just reached my breaking point.  I’ve been juggling so much between an office in the midst of an audit, insurance compliance issues, new projects, and overly-demanding clients.  A home that has a never-ending to-do list and a major flooring project underway.  And not to mention, oh, I don’t know… being a (first-time!) Mommy to a 4 month old.  It’s hard to be everything to everyone, especially when my heart is wanting nothing more than to cuddle with my baby all day long.   I know I can strike the balance, it’s just going to take longer than 4 months.

Greyson demonstrating how I felt about last week.

The weekend and the relative rest it brought was much-needed.  Ramses started demoing the formal living room floor and laid the first planks of our new flooring.  I cannot tell you how long I have been wanting wood floors in the house.   During the design of our house we wanted to add the flooring badly but our budget was limited so we opted for upgrading the cabinets, fireplace, and stairs.  This August will be 6 years of homeownership and the floors are truly our first really big project.  While Ramses got his manual labor on, Greyson and I spent the day bonding and laughing together.  His little face is enough to erase every crappy thing that’s on my mind.

The many faces of adorable.

Sunday morning we took a break from the flooring to play some games with Matt & Robert.  It was really nice to spend time with friends and I am looking forward to making these get-togethers a weekly thing, our Church of the Breakfast Table, if you will.  Having a social life and devoting time to just have fun is really important when the majority of our time is spent working.  It is amazing how different my time is divided now and if I do not make time for certain things, they may never actually happen.  Having a child is a joy and the sacrifice of personal time is worth it but I am a firm believer that I can have it all.  It just takes some fancy, acrobatic scheduling and a little bargaining. Last night,  I actually cracked a book that wasn’t a parenting or baby book for the first time in, gosh… 6 months?!  By the way, book one of Fablehaven is excellent so far.  I loves me some kid’s fantasy books. =)

Ramses pulling some double duty.

I just had to share the picture above.  I asked Ramses if he could take a break so I could go switch out a load of laundry and I came downstairs to find this.  I guess he was on a roll and a break wasn’t in the cards.  Greyson LOVES to watch his Daddy.  No one can make him laugh more than Ramses.  They are simpatico.  I think that Grey will have Ramses’ sense of humor which makes me so happy.  I am looking forward to watching their relationship as he grows up.  I makes me so happy that Ramses has taken so easily to being a father.  Greyson is truly lucky to have him.  And I am pretty sure that he already knows that…

The precious sight I woke up to this morning.