One Tiny Person

I keep a private journal that I write in every night.  It’s my way of letting the day’s ups and downs go so that I can rest easy… well, easy-ish.  I have always been a person whose brain just cannot shut off and if I do not commit to nighttime rituals it is impossible for me to fall asleep.  I have a feeling Greyson may end up being the same way if his current anti-sleep campaign is any indication.  Much of my nightly writings have revolved around the tiny boy that keeping me up at night.

Having a child has been the most profound experience of my life.  As soon as I held him in my arms, I became a different person.  Instantly, I had an intense understanding about what is truly important in life.  After the first week of baby blues went away I found myself smiling more and letting go of things that pre-baby drove me crazy.  He has softened me.  He’s made my world brighter.  Sure, it sounds trite but it also true.

One week old. He was sooo tiny! Look at those scrawny legs!

In his (almost) 5 months in this world he has changed so much in my life.  And I don’t mean the little things like being sleep-deprived, the complete inability to do anything more than 30-45 minutes at a time, or becoming a master diaper changer.  No, he’s done much more than that.

Showing off those mad Gonzalez keyboard skillz. =P

His birth created a family.  Ramses and I have always been partners and best friends but now we are a real family.  He made me a Mommy and he made Ramses a Daddy.  He’s become a bridge for several relationships that we felt had, maybe, run their course.  He’s taught me to get out of my head and open my heart.  He well never really understand the profound effect he’s had on our lives until maybe he has children of his own.  But that’s OK, his only job right now is to be a kid for as long as he can.